So the name lists for the main hospital allocations came out today. It was nice seeing the names of friends who have intercalated joining this really nice year. The yeartobe! I love my current batch. It’s so much more easier making friends with this lot than it was last year.
However, it was a bit difficult to see one name on that list. It’s been fine having him out of my life for such a long time. Any reminders sort of trigger a stupendously unpleasant feeling. I guess sometimes when you’re traumatised from a major event, reminders really have an effect on you. For me, I kinda froze and felt a little derealisation with what was going on around me. It was an immediate unpleasant effect, just from seeing a name. I can’t imagine what it will be like seeing him about. I’m kinda hoping that he’ll be in a different rotation, or ward or that I’ll be in GP land when he’s in hospital.
I love my friends. I love the people I hang out with. My workplace rapport is awesome, the group I work with is amazing. I love medschool and even though exam stress is bad, it’s worth it when you’re with a band of brothers (and sisters!) you can relate with well.
However, I don’t quite think I’m cut out for romance or that happily-ever-after a lot of women get.
I guess you can’t have everything, can you? Would be nice if you could. I think if I lived a lot closer to my family, I wouldn’t feel it as much. Or be at that phase of life where everyone’s in a steady relationship waiting to just tie the knot. It’s sweet but not really fun if you’re kinda doing things on your own.
goes off to pick Pablo up
